I Wish You Were Here
by Eliza.Cava.Shep
Summary: What would have happened if the events of 12x9 had happened in Season 7? Meredith is attacked by a patient and cant hear or speak, so she has to rely on her friends and family to helo her recover. Mostly MerDer with some Slexie. Other ships: Callie & Arizona and Cristina & Owen.
1. Silence

Meredith stood, typing on a computer in one of her patients rooms. She heard rustling behind her and turned around, seeing that the patient she had thought had been unconscious was standing up. She quickly urged him to lay back down multiple times, gently gripping his arms to ease him into the bed.

He got aggressive quickly, grabbing her arms and throwing her against the wall. She groaned in pain and he grabbed her again, slamming her against the wall over and over again. She screamed out for help and wailed in pain as he threw her to the ground. She felt a crack in her chest and hoped that he was done.

Meredith pretended to have passed out and prayed that he would leave her alone. She felt pain radiating across her back and her face, doing everything in her power not to yell out in agony.

She let out a scream as his arms wrapped around her again, clutching her eyes tightly shut and moaning as he threw her against the bed and then back against the wall. She felt the blinds of the window digging into her back as he pushed her to the ground again, this time hitting her head.

Tears spilled from her eyes as she laid motionless on the ground, begging for the pain to stop. The skin on her face was tender from being smashed so many times and her hair fell into her face, masking her eyes, which were bloodshot and full of tears.

She whimpered and sobbed as she heard a thump behind her and assumed the patient had collapsed. She was unable to move, frozen in excruciating pain and fear. She couldn't close her eyes either, terrified of the nightmares that would surely plague her.

She needed someone, anyone at all, to save her. But no one came. She sat there, frozen, for what felt like hours. She was sure she was dying, seeing the corners of her vision fade and no longer able to hear the bustling outside.

She had no idea that her husband was just outside the door, running through the halls and frantically searching for her. She had missed their lunch date and wasn't answering her phone.

He opened the door to the room and almost didn't see her laying on the ground. His blue eyes met hers and he gasped, his mouth opening and shouting words to someone but the sounds not registering in Meredith's mind.

She blinked absently as he dived down and placed a hand on her hair, his mouth moving frantically up and down but no sound coming out. She furrowed her eyebrows and and blinked at him, wondering why she couldn't hear anything.

He gathered her hand in his as Owen rushed into the room, gasping at Meredith's half-conscious form on the ground. He ran over and situated himself behind her, seemingly speaking to Derek. Meredith, at that point, knew that it was only her who couldn't hear the sounds. She looked, terrified, at Derek, who was trying to say something to her.

He nodded to her and she looked up at Owen, pleading with him to just make it stop. Suddenly, excruciating pain erupted across her entire body and she felt herself being lifted off the ground. She screamed out in agony and, after realizing she couldn't even hear her own scream, began sobbing uncontrollably to herself.

Derek squeezed her hand in his, stroking her hair and speaking soothingly to her. She couldn't hear him and cried harder, needing to just hear his sweet voice in that moment.

An ensemble of surgeons rushed into the room seconds later, seeing their friend on the patient's bed and rushing over. Cristina, Owen, Lexie, Mark, Alex, and Callie all gathered around the small bed, yelling questions at each other and Derek.

He shouted at them to shut up and that they were freaking Meredith out. Everyone suddenly looked to her, still sobbing but not for the reason they thought, and began speaking in calmer voices.

Meredith felt hands all over her, examining her and doing tests. She kept her hand balled up in Derek's and kept her eyes locked on his if they weren't needed for the exam, feeling tears just on the verge of spilling as pain cascaded through her entire body.

"Meredith, can you wiggle you fingers? Or your toes?" Cristina asked. Meredith only continued her labored and heavy breathing, her eyes wide with fear and desperation. Every doctor in the room stared at her limbs, willing them to move, but they didn't.

Cristina asked the question again and again and Meredith couldn't hear her, her only thoughts focused on the waves of pain cascading across her body and the complete and utter silence that terrified her. The doctors exchanged worried glances before Derek, who had been looking at Meredith for a while, had a theory.

"Meredith?" He asked softly. When the green eyes girl didn't turn to look at him, he asked again.

"Meredith? If you can hear me, look at me." He said. Meredith had been staring blankly ahead, her face contorted in pain, for minutes, the only movement from her body caused by the heavy breaths going in and out of her lungs.

"She can't hear us."

 **So I cheated a little bit today and watched an episode in season 12 that my friend had told me about. It was the one where Meredith was attacked by a patient and couldn't hear for a while and couldn't talk for six weeks.**

 **I decided to imagine what would have happened if the same thing happened before everyone died and the whole hospital fell to pieces. Then I wrote it down.**

 **Kisses!**

 **-E**


	2. Dreamlessness

**I'm really sorry about the posting situation last night, I posted an Authors Note and then deleted it. Sorry I couldn't get any chapters out but one of my best friend's dad died and I was kind of in shock.**

Meredith felt as if the dreamless sleep and short moments of consciousness would never end. She would open her eyes and see something different each time, taking a few seconds to comprehend her surroundings before she couldn't hold her eyes open anymore and fell asleep.

Finally, she woke up and saw all of her friends standing over her, wheeling her towards the OR. Their mouths moved and they looked at her, but she couldn't hear anything. The silence seemed like a sound of its own as she looked at each of her friends faces in succession, giving them all the same look of concerned confusion.

She looked at Cristina, who had one of her hands clenched around Meredith's and was speaking to her seriously.

Then she looked at Lexie, who wasn't saying anything but was giving Meredith a look of sympathy that shouted louder in her mind than the silent babbling of her friends.

Meredith looked around the bed at each of the rest of her friends, including Mark, Callie, Owen, Arizona, Alex, Bailey, Jackson, and April.

Finally, her eyes met Derek's bright blue ones. He had one of his hands wrapped around hers and the other stroking her hair. There were deep worry lines on his face and dark bags under his eyes, but he smiled encouragingly at her to hide them.

She felt herself slipping away, deeper and deeper into unconsicousness before her eyes finally closed and she was plunged back into the empty and unfulfilling sleep that had consumed her.

The next time she opened her eyes, she was back in the hospital room. She tried to open her mouth and found that her jaw had been wired shut. Immediately, she was filled with panic and her breathing quickened, feeling her heart kick up in her chest.

Derek was sitting next to her, half asleep, when he heard the heart monitor start beeping rapidly. He looked to his wife and saw that she was awake, jumping up and grabbing her hand to let her know that he was there.

"It's okay, it's okay, Meredith. Just calm down, breathe. You hit your head on the floor and they had to break your jaw. You're not gonna be able to open your mouth for a while, but it's okay. You're gonna be okay." He said, hoping that she would somehow hear him.

Instead, she only responded to his fingers rubbing up and down on her hand, soothing her and allowing her breathing to settle down. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and tried to think of a way to tell him what she was thinking.

As if he had read her mind, Derek reached over to the nightstand and handed her a whiteboard and a marker. She gripped the marker in her hand and wrote a message sloppily on the board, turning it so it was facing him when she was done.

 **Zola?**

Derek sighed and gently took the board out of her hands. He was upset that they had to resort to writing messages on a whiteboard as their only method of communication because he had so much that he wanted to say to her and he didn't feel right writing it down.

 **She's fine. Misses you. :(**

Meredith frowned and wondered how long she had been in and out of sleep. She took the whiteboard from his hands and wrote another message.

 **How long?**

He sighed, fully aware that she couldn't hear him.

 **About a week. Hearing should come back soon. Wires have to stay six weeks.**

He jotted down. Her face fell as she realized she wouldn't be able to talk normally for six weeks. Her noticed and quickly erased the board, effectively changing the subject.

 **Pain?**

She shook her head and he visibly relaxed. It was a lie, she was in a pain, a lot of it, but she saw how worried and stressed he was and decided he could use the relief.

She took the whiteboard and wrote her own question on it.

 **Injuries?**

Derek looked down at her abdomen, which was bandaged from the surgery, and the back up to her head, which was still bruised and her jaw still wired shut.

 **Had to intubate but couldn't get jaw open. Had to break it. Two broken ribs dislocated elbow and knee.**

Meredith noticed the casts on her arm and leg at that moment and suddenly felt slightly claustrophobic, furrowing her eyebrows and reaching for Derek's hand.

He took down the railing on the bed and laid down next to her, wrapping his strong arms around her fragile body. She gasped and whimpered in pain, unaware of the sounds she was making and fact that he could hear them.

Realizing she had lied and that she was in pain, he let go of her and only used one hand to stroke her hair. A guilty expression plagued her face only for a moment before her eyes closed again and she actually slept well for the first time in a week.


	3. Ambience

The next week passed slowly, painfully, and silently. Meredith slept more than anything, finding comfort in the presence of her husband beside her day in and day out. He barely ever left her side and slept in his chair by her bed, hoping against hope that her hearing would come back soon.

All of her friends visited her all the time, checking her hearing constantly. The only thing she heard was the faint ringing that never stopped and almost drove her insane. At one point, she had allowed the horrible monotonous sound to take over her, pulling her into a world of pain and despair.

"Make it stop! Please, somebody, anybody, make it stop!" She tried to scream. It only came out as muffled gibberish as she couldn't hear herself and could barely speak through the metal clamping her mouth shut.

She gasped for air and tears rolled down her face as she looked frantically around the room, searching for anyone that could help her and not realizing she was screaming at the top of her lungs.

Two strong hands gently steadied her face, the fingers wiping away her tears. Derek's face came into her view and she immediately relaxed, allowing herself to be overcome with sobs. He sighed and consoled her as she cried.

"It hurts- make it stop! Please, it hurts!" She tried to tell him. He couldn't understand her, knowing that she was too upset to try to write anything down and just trying to get her to breathe.

"Meredith- Meredith, calm down. Calm down, just take deep breaths." He said, knowing full well she couldn't hear him. He kept his hands firmly planted on her face, forcing her to look at him.

"Derek..." This he understood, loosening his grip on her fragile face and stroking her cheek as her breathing slowly evened out. She was exhausted from moving so much and leaned back in the bed, letting herself fall asleep.

XxXxX

"Hey, hows my favorite patient?" Mark peeked in the door of Meredith's room, where she jumped awake and smiled at him weakly.

"How's the pain?" He asked. She lifted her hand and shook it side to side to signal that it wasn't too bad but still not great. He nodded and wrote something down on her chart. Suddenly, he froze.

"Wait... Meredith?" He said. She looked up at him, confused.

"Can you hear me?" He asked. Her eyes went wide and she nodded, a grin crossing her face.

"Oh, my god! You can hear me! Oh, this is amazing! Derek's gonna be so happy, he's gonna... he's gonna kill me! Crap!" He yelled, realizing that Derek had been out of the room when she had finally gotten her hearing back.

"I've got to go get him. I'll be right back, Big Grey!" He called as he left the room. Meredith sighed and smiled as she heard the breath go in and out of her body. The ringing in her ears had gone completely and she appreciated the tiniest sounds around her so much more than ever.

XxXxX

Mark ran through the hallways, throwing open the OR door and placing a mask over his mouth. Derek was standing, in the middle of a surgery, with his favorite ferryboat scrub cap on.

"Mark. What is it?" He asked. Mark took a moment to catch his breath and then answered his best friend.

"It's Meredith. She can hear." Derek took half a second to register the words before he dropped everything and ran towards the exit, yelling over his shoulder for someone to finish the surgery for him. Mark was right behind him, running right back through the halls and into Meredith's room.

She smiled at them as they entered, seeing the disbelief on Derek's face.

"Is it true? Can you hear me?" Derek asked. Meredith nodded and he ran over to her, scooping her hand up in his and kissing it over and over again. She giggled.

"Oh, I have so much I want to say! I love you, so much! When I thought you were dead, I couldn't live with myself. Thank you so much for being alive and getting your hearing back. I don't know that I could ya doe it if I lost you." He blurted. Meredith giggled and held up her hand to stop him.

 **You saved me.**

He chuckled and shook his head, pulling up a chair next to her bed and sitting in it.

"If I had just been there, maybe I could have stopped him-" she held her hand up again, the equivalent of interrupting.

 **Don't blame yourself. _You_ saved _me._ **

He smiled and squeezed her hand, leaning back into his chair and looking ibti her eyes.

"You should get some rest. Maybe I'll bring the kids in soon so they can see you. Would you like that?" He asked. He felt a flurry of happiness in his stomach when she nodded, still not used to her being able to hear him.

She closed her eyes and fell asleep, feeling his gaze on her, making her feel safe. She imagined seeing her children again and fell asleep with a grin on her face.

 **I'm so sorry I haven't posted anything in forever and that this chapter is short. I've had an extremely busy week and barely had any time for writing! I will try to get as many chapters as possible out this weekend to make up for it!**

 **Kisses!**

 **-E**


	4. Desperation

It was a few days until Derek could find time to bring the kids in. By then, all of the bruises on Meredith's body except the ones on her face had healed. The bruises on her face were still purple, but some parts were turning green, a good sign of healing.

Her hearing had been completely restored and they were just waiting for her bones to heal before they could discharge her. She still had her jaw wired shut, which she was not very happy about, but she understood it was for her own sake.

Cristina and Arizona spent almost an hour getting Meredith ready to see her kids. Most of it was spent trying and failing to cover up the unsightly brusises on her face and eventually they gave up. Arizona fixed Meredith's hair and instructed her on how to not scare her children and Cristina got the room prepared, taking down all the intimidating scans on the walls.

"No matter how much you want to, do not smile. The wires will probably scare them a little. Just... keep your mouth closed and try not to talk." Arizona said as cheerfully as possible. Meredith sighed, knowing it would be difficult to see her kids and not smile, but she told herself she could.

Her heart jumped in her chest as a knock sounded on the door and Cristina jumped up to get it. Arizona gave Meredith an encouraging smile and squeezed her hand, getting up to go help Cristina and Derek.

The door opened and Derek walked in, Ellis in his arms and Zola and Bailey beside him. Every thought left Meredith's mind and her eyes filled with tears as she looked at her babies, a huge grin on her face.

"Zo-Zo! Come see mommy!" She called through the wires on her jaw. Zola's eyes were wide with fear as she looked at the terrifying contraption on her mother's face. She furrowed her eyebrows and clenched tightly to her fathers hand, taking a step away.

"I don't want to." She said. Meredith froze, her breath hitching in her throat. She remembered what Arizona had told her and closed her mouth, covering her dry lips with her hand.

"Oh, come on, Zola! You asked me every day when we could come see mommy. She's right there, let's go give her a hug!" Derek encouraged her. Arizona walked over and took Ellis from his arms, carrying her over to Meredith and placing her on the mother's lap.

"No! No! I want to go home!" Zola protested as Derek tried to lead her towards her mother. The baby in her arms began crying, adding to the horrible tension in the room. Meredith ignored the small child and motioned for Zola to come to her, still desperately trying to keep the tears out of her eyes.

"Zo-zo! Come see mommy, please! Zo-zo!" She cried. Arizona began stuttering beside her and Derek gulped, looking down at his two oldest children. He crouched down to their level and looked into their eyes, an expression of sincerity on his face.

"Zola, Bailey, mommy got really hurt. You remember every time you get a boo-boo, how mommy gives you a band-aid and kisses it better? Well, right now, mommy needs you to kiss her better. Can you do that for me, please?" He said. Zola frowned.

"She's not mommy." Zola argued. Derek almost gasped, his face transforming to pure confusion.

"What? Zola, of course she's mommy. She just has some ouchies, that's all." He said. His oldest daughter shook her head, taking another step back.

"She's scary. I don't want to go, she's scary." She cried. Derek looked behind him at Meredith, who was trying desperately to keep her cool in the presence of her children.

"Uh-um... why don't we do-do this later. I think the kids are just tired, that's all." Arizona stammered. Meredith reached up with her good hand and brushed the hair out of her face, a pained expression painted across her features.

"Oh, come on, Zola! Zola!" She cried, reaching out towards her baby. The child backed away further, shaking her head and looking at her mother as if she were a stranger. Arizona reached down and gently took the crying baby from Meredith's lap, walking towards the other children.

"Um.. who wants to go get something yummy from the cafeteria, hm? We can Uh... come back later." She said. The pediatric surgeon led the two children out of the room, holding the third in her arms and stealing a last sympathetic glance at Meredith, who was letting tears flow freely from her eyes.

Derek ran his hand up his face and through his hair, letting out a long sigh. Cristina followed Arizona out of the room to allow the couple to reconcile in private.

As soon as the door was closed, Meredith threw the blanket off of her and onto the floor, repeating the same process with the pillow that was next to her. She grunted in frustration and angrily scraped at the loose shirt around her shoulders, feeling claustrophobic suddenly.

She pushed herself up and down in the chair and whimpered, her body shaking with sobs. Derek rushed over to her and tried to help, stammering things that made no sense to anyone.

"I can't breathe, I can't breathe, get it out! Get it out!" Meredith tried to scream, the words becoming distorted and almost unrecognizable through her tightly wired teeth. She motioned helplessly and desperately towards her mouth, all of her muscles tensed in frustration.

"Meredith, Meredith, breathe! Breathe, take deep breaths! Calm down, calm down." Derek instructed. She barely heard him as she continued to writhe in the chair, her one good hand jumping around and clawing at anything it could find.

"I can't! I cant- I can't breathe, I can't breathe!" She shouted over and over again. Finally, Derek decided that Meredith's healing could wait. He grabbed a pair of clippers off of the table beside her bed and rushed back to her, crouching down and placing one hand on her face to steady it.

"I'm gonna get you some air, okay? I need you to stay still, Meredith, try not to move." He said, holding up the clippers to show her what he was doing. She opened her mouth as much as she could to grant him access and he reached into her mouth, clipping the wires as fast as he could.

As soon as they were cut, Meredith opened her mouth and gasped for air, tears still running down her face. She placed her hand on Derek's back and grasped at handfuls of his lab coat, staring directly into his eyes with her own bloodshot ones.

"There you go, breathe. Deep breaths, in and out. It's alright, you're going to be okay." He soothed, taking deep breaths of his own. Meredith's mouth still hung open as she was frankly scared to close it again, afraid that her teeth may somehow wire themselves shut again.

She felt her eyes drooping for the exhaustion of her panic attack and being awake for so long and leaned back in the chair, keeping her gaze strictly upon Derek's eyes. Finally, she let them close all the way, feeling her mouth close involuntarily as well and ignoring the twinge of panic that jumped to her stomach.

 **The scene where Meredith saw her children in the original episode almost made me cry, so I kind of dreaded writing this part when I started this story.**

 **Kisses!**

 **-E**


End file.
